My Own Oscar!

It's Oscar time and after winning so many awards Slumdog Millionaire (SM) is all over the media, why not on my blog as well ?

I have not seen SM but most of my friends who have seen it were surprised at the hype and the rave reviews it has received. I am not qualified to comment on the technical awards it won but am happy for A R Rahman. Of course, he doesn’t need an Oscar to confirm his legendary status in our music industry but recognition is always welcome. He is one of those rare artists who is respected by everyone. I have not heard of anyone who has heard Rahman say they don’t like his music.

What amuses me and makes me curious is the impact of this success and the way it will be celebrated.

For starters Big B will be ruing the day he lashed out against SM and will now need to sugar coat his opinions and try to be politically correct. I pity celebrities who can afford almost anything except the right to their personal opinion if it happens to be politically incorrect or goes against popular belief.

How will the stars be celebrating this success ? Our desi star Freida Pinto has started her celebrations in advance by dumping Rohan (her boyfriend/husband). Don’t blame her; she is just following the footsteps of other celebrities like Saif, Deepika Padukone etc. Now I will be eagerly waiting to know “Kaun Banega Freida Pati”?

News channels will be flocking the homes of the child stars in Dharavi and asking little Salim’s mother what she gave him for breakfast everyday. She will have to remind them that she is a slum dweller and breakfast is a luxury they could never afford.

Danny Boyle forgot to thank our politicians. If it was not for them there would be no slums in India and this movie could never have been made. Bravo politicians you are great visionaries. You have been planning this Oscar for over 60 years!

Chidambaram our Home Minister has announced that he will propose tax breaks if the Oscars consist of prize money as well. This is what happens when you appoint a Finance Minister to take care of the Home Ministry!

We have one more tourist spot in Mumbai- Dharavi. Just a couple of months back we added Leopold café and now this- WoW!

Following the steep elevation in the social status of slumdogs I hope the stray dogs near my complex would migrate to the slums and want to be counted among their elite.

There will be a slew of movies based on slums in India. Living next to a slum could even become a status symbol.

I read somewhere that a Hindi movie song shot on top of a train has never been a flop. The good luck seems to be rubbing on to platforms as well and after ‘Jai Ho’ more platforms will be used for shooting songs.

The English translation of the lyrics of ‘Jai Ho’ will be highly sought after and known by most of urban India and those of us living abroad, even as we continue to remain ignorant of the English translation of our national anthem ‘Jana Gana Mana’!

Finally, for those of you who think I deserve an Oscar for all my preposterous thoughts and comments I have news! I have awarded myself an Oscar a long time back and have posted a picture of it as proof. Yeah mine is specially crafted:))

P.S. If you think I sound narcissistic remember I am not the only one, Freud believed that some narcissism is an essential part of all of us from birth!

An Eventful Quarter!

A lot has been happening in our complex during the last three months and a new post is overdue. I have loads of exciting things to report this time. Formation of two welfare associations, Hungama 2009, builders secret revealed and much more….read on.

The formation of NiRWA (Nirmal Lifestyle Residency Welfare Association) was announced and its first event was Hungama 2009. It was spread over 5 days and events covering sports, cultural programs, general entertainment, felicitations and gala dinner were organized.

Sports competitions were so popular that there was participation even from those who did not live in Nirmal! To get to know who our co-residents are I think next year we should also have a ‘spot the non-Nirmalite contest’ where residents will identify participants who don’t live here.

Stage events were held on the 10th and 11th of Jan. The highlights on the 10th included stage performance by local artists and a fashion show. The DJ anchoring the events was a direct result of the adequate attention paid to gender equality. Whilst the men were happy they had a male DJ the womenfolk too were happy they had a female DJ. The children didn’t really care and they had the maximum fun. The sound that evening was too loud and I wondered why until I realized that the sound engineer had forgotten to wear his special T-shirt which had their motto. “If you can’t hear us, you are deaf and if you continue to hear us, you will soon go deaf”! Thankfully the Fashion Show was the saving grace and participation was beyond all expectations. Residents of Onyx and Garnet who walk the ramp up and down every time they come out of their building put their practice to good use.

The Grand Finale was organized on the 11th with an orchestra which did manage to get residents of all ages to come up to the dance floor. It was nice to see our local Mumbai heroes of 26/11 being felicitated. Just as I was attending to a phone call after the felicitations my friend was gesturing to me that a skit enacting the 26/11 attack at the CST railway station had started. As there was no such skit planned I was surprised until I realized it was the prize distribution. I must admit that it did look like a skit of CST. People were running helter-skelter and one man was taking out small packets from something that resembled a gunny bag. Photographers were standing right in the middle of the stage with their backs to the audience. It looked more of a free for all and less of a prize distribution. Our only retribution is (in future) to have small cups for winners with their names engraved on them. There was catering too and I heard it reminded one of the before and after ads you see on TV. It was full of goodies before 9.30 p.m. and only proteins (read Dal) after 9.30 p.m.

All in all it was a wonderful effort considering the fact that the event was almost dead due to lack of sponsorship until the sportING, co-operatING and sponsorING white knight emerged in the form of ING Bank. A BIG THANKS to them. Next year, I propose we target eye-wear companies and binocular sellers for sponsorship. They could benefit from many of our residents wanting to enjoy the programs from the comfort of their apartment windows!

The second welfare association which was recently formed is called NiSWA and is more powerful than NiRWA. They don’t need any permission from the BMC or the police and can continue having fun beyond 10 p.m. Their first event was held behind Garnet bldg. celebrating the Supreme Court’s stay on the killing of stray dogs in Mumbai. NiSWA stands for Nirmal Lifestyle Stray dogs Welfare Association.

Here comes some insider information about our builder. The secret of the non completion of Blue Diamond is finally revealed by unimpeachable sources. It has to do with numerology and our builders’ penchant for the number 9. The word ‘lifestyle’ has 9 letters and so does his other project ‘City of Joy’. There are 9 buildings in the complex and the 18 storey buildings add up to 9 (1+8). Completing Blue Diamond will make it 10 buildings in the complex and fearing bad luck he wants to avoid completing this building.

There has also been some misunderstanding by the builder to one of our other requests. In response to our demand for more open space a gutter cover was left open. Unfortunately, someone fell into it and that’s when we realized what the builder had in mind. A timely clarification did help but it prevented me from using the opening lines I had planned for this post - “Things finally seem to be falling in place in our complex” :(

Lately, discussions about our club house have intensified. It reminds me of the dilemma faced by the family of a lady about to deliver a premature baby. The doctor wants permission to go ahead with a premature delivery even as the family fears the well being of the baby post delivery. Our builder wants to handover an incomplete club house and with no infrastructure in place to maintain it, the residents fear it will be in shambles within no time. The swimming pool which was promised is missing and I suspect that the builder continues to believe he has kept his promise. He is likely to produce the aerial view of the layout which shows a blue patch labeled swimming pool. True to the planned layout he has made a blue patch on the club house ceiling and if you look at it from above (the aerial view) it does look like a pool. Bravo builder you are a genius!

We had a candle light vigil for the departed souls who died in the 26/11 attacks. We prayed for their souls and the candle manufacturers blessed us for the sudden increase in their sales.

Two well meaning youngsters came to my house the other day seeking donation for CRY (Child Relief and You). To their utter bad luck their programs were titled 'Pigeon' which in this complex sends shudders down your spine. The rate at which they are multiplying is sure to threaten the ecological balance on earth. I hope a worthy predator descends soon to maintain the balance.

I have concluded that the ‘F’ word in our complex stands for football. With no concrete solution for an alternative play area in sight kids continue play on concrete. A nail biting finish is the hallmark of any good football match. By those standards ours is the best ever. They are nail biting from start to finish. You keep biting your nails wondering whose car is going to be dented or who is going to be hit next. You can’t even ask the kids to kick their bad habit coz that’s exactly what they are doing :) The kids want you to look at the positive side. It keeps all of us on our toes and is a fantastic exercise in alertness. Although it is not a contact sport it has managed to increase social contact and interaction between the members albeit with undesirable effect.

On the positive side we had a very well attended Republic day celebration. There was no dissent for the 26/1 event like the one for the Hungama event following the 26/11 attacks.

A special general body meeting has been called on the 15th of this month. It should provide a lot of fodder for subsequent posts but unfortunately I will be out of town and unable to attend it.